Flashback: ‘Elephant repellent’

(Over nine months ago, when I originally posted this to my personal Facebook page, Ohio’s governor had just canceled The Arnold. He hadn’t yet shut down The Great State, nor had he designated some people “essential” and others expendable. Bars and restaurants were still open for business. Nobody was “ordered” to wear a mask. The now-disgraced Dr. Amy Achtung, then the state’s Minister of Health, was still tugging on the governor’s leash.)

March 11, 2020

Remember the old Boys’ Life joke about elephant repellent? As the story goes, a cop strolls up on a man sprinkling a white powder on the sidewalks and streets. “What on earth are you doing?” inquires the officer.

“This is elephant repellent,” the man says, proudly holding up a can of the powder. “It keeps elephants away.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the officer replies. “There are no elephants around here!”

The man grins. “Works pretty well, then, doesn’t it?”

Once the Wuhan coronavirus hysteria has passed and everyone can see that it never was the threat it was hyped to be, a lot of these Chicken Littles are gonna cluck loudly, raise their can of State-sanctioned elephant repellent, and proclaim,

“See? It worked!”

Mayors and governors. University presidents and school principals. Election boards and community groups. I’m-a-nurses and helicopter parents and armchair epidemiologists are gonna declare themselves heroes.

You can make book on that.

#WiseUp #OhioAgainstDeWine