Day 310: Double-up

It’s our 310th day of being locked in Mikey’s Basement and Day 70 of ignoring him when he orders us to bed.

Deb and I are ok.

Sure enough, and as I speculated last week, yesterday the governor announced that he’s shortening his daily WuFlu Curfew by an hour. Starting tomorrow he’ll roll up the proverbial sidewalks at 11pm instead of 10pm.

He also unveiled a set of arbitrary thresholds — which might be an oxymoron if I hadn’t watched this governor operate — for further lifting of the idiotic curfew. No science, no real explanation, just an announcement. Purely and shamelessly political.

All we know for sure is that every time he gives us an assurance, sets a standard or makes a rule, sooner or later he’ll break it.

Watching Daffy over the course of the 2020 campaign, we saw a man in decline. His cognitive issues were obvious and obviously advancing. His handlers protected him and kept him sheltered, limiting his exposure, carefully controlling his appearances.

Now that he’s in The White House, we see and hear him almost every day. Each time he takes the podium he gets a fast start before flagging quickly. He doesn’t show the stamina or clarity-of-thought one would expect — or should demand — from a man in that office.

But there he is. And just to get him up there, day after day, I can’t help wondering about the chemicals they pump into the guy.

It will take a toll. Some of us have watched it happen to loved ones.

Better get ready for President Chuckles.

Believe it or not, there once was a time when a shaving razor only had one blade. It’s true — a single blade, two edges, one on each side. In related news (stay with me here), at one point Saturday Night Live was the funniest hour on television.

For those who don’t know or simply are too young to remember, Gillette introduced the Trac II in 1971, the first successful attempt to market a razor with more than one blade. Commercials for the product often featured an intricate explanation, complete with an animation of “the TRAC II razor effect” which illustrated how the twin-blade design supposedly worked.

In 1975, SNL was in its first season. An October show featured guest host George Carlin and a spoof commercial for the “Triple Trac” razor, a sendup of the well-known Gillette TV spot. From the script:

“The first blade grabs at the whisker, tugging it away from your face to protect it from the second blade. Blade number two catches and digs into the stubble before it has the chance to snap back and injure you, pulling it farther out so that it is now ready for shearing. Triple-Trac’s third blade, a finely-honed bonded platinum instrument, cuts cleanly through the whisker at its base, leaving your face as smooth as a billiard ball.”

The video dissolves back to the announcer, who holds up the razor and closes the parody with this classic line:

“The Triple-Trac. Because you’ll believe anything.”

I’m sure you enjoyed this trip down Memory Lane. Now you’re probably wondering why the hell I brought it up.

Well, at last week’s invitation-only coronation of Daffy C. McHairsniffer, cameras caught a bunch of the VIPs wearing two masks. On Monday some vapid network reporter asked Minister of Health Fauci if that was a good idea.

The octogenarian autocrat assured the reporter that “it just makes common sense that it likely would be more effective.” Naturally.

See where this is going?

The obsession with masks, this mask hysteria, is absurd. Pandemic Theater disgusts me. I don’t wear one mask unless I have no other alternative. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna wear two.

But just you wait — double-masking will become a genuine thing, the ultimate virtue signal. Double-maskers will shame single-maskers, and single-maskers will shame the maskless.

I know that some of you will start wearing two masks. Many of you already do. Why?

“Because you’ll believe anything.”

Take care of yourselves, Patriots. Stay calm. Stay sharp. Stay free.

#WiseUp #LibertyOrDeath

(Header image: One of my all-time favorite knives, the Bark River Camp & Trail.)