I don’t do grief.
Oh, I’m capable of sadness, but I find no strength in it. I’ve become adept over the years at letting go, moving on.
And though I don’t grieve in any prolonged way, I do remember.
Early last year, an old friend confessed to me that he was terminally ill. He had a few months to live, perhaps only weeks. The nature of our friendship allowed me to cuss him good-naturedly about forcing me to do things I don’t like doing — to be sad, that is, and (if he managed to beat me to the exit) to grieve.
My friend outlasted his doctors’ expectations. He finished his race with courage and grace, drawing his final breath in mid-October.
I guess I was supposed to say all that on New Year’s Eve — y’know, one of those ritual “people we lost in 2024” tributes. I didn’t.
Then last night, I remembered.
What prompted my remembering was news that Ohio State annihilated undefeated and top-ranked Oregon in the Rose Bowl game. My friend was passionate about OSU football, and the Bucks had lost their regular-season game against the Ducks the day before he died.
This was a measure of redemption.
I smiled.
And then I cried. Hard.
I still don’t do grief. I don’t light candles, I make no somber pilgrimages to loved ones’ gravesites and I don’t observe “heavenly birthdays.” Maybe it’s because I’m inherently stoic. Maybe I resist dwelling on the past to make room for the present.
But today, I’m using this space to say that I remember a good man. It’s the least I can do for an old friend.
Take care of yourselves, Patriots. Stay calm. Stay sharp. Stay free.
#WiseUp #LibertyOrDeath #Ungovernable
#LetsGoBrandon #FJB