Did you know?

This has been a shitty day. When I was done with the dogs early this morning I went right back to bed — migraine, bad one. I took a dose of OTC meds and (literally) packed my head and neck in ice. I timed it right, though, since Deb is feeling much better today and was able to pick up what I dropped.

I didn’t get out of bed ’til 4:30pm. I’m feeling human now, more or less.

Instead of ending this Saturday without a blog post, I reached deep into my well of notes and drafts. I’ve decided to share a list of answers to questions nobody’s asking. It began months ago with a simple thought:

“I don’t own a pair of short pants.”

I kept adding stuff as it occurred to me. The result is just a bunch of navel-gazing, I know that. And no, you didn’t ask.


I have no tattoos.

I smoked cigarettes for 35 years. I quit and started vaping exclusively nine years ago. I’ve had two cigarettes since. I do smoke cigars occasionally.

When I smoke a cigar, I inhale.

I don’t smoke weed. Oh, I have, but the last time was maybe 25 years ago. I never quite latched. I prefer bourbon.

I prefer bourbon, neat.

I love beer — good beer, dark beer. I don’t drink “light” beer unless nothing else is available and I still want a beer.

I’d have to say that as mixed drinks go, nothing beats a top-shelf margarita — unless it’s a bloody Mary with bourbon in place of vodka. I prefer bourbon.

I’ve been married twice. My first wife was seven years older than me. My last wife — see what I did there? — is eight years younger.

I met Deb online. On our second date, two days after our blind date, we decided to get married. That was 17 years ago.

I promised myself years ago that I’d never settle. Now I’m not as tall as I used to be, so I guess that’s out the window.

I don’t much like “the beach.” I overdosed on sandy seashores when I was a kid. I still like rocky coastlines, though, and lakeshores.

I’ve never been on a cruise. I have no desire to go on a cruise.

I have a bachelor’s degree. I majored in religion.

I was chaplain of my college fraternity. Don’t think too hard about that.

I’m an Eagle Scout. My certificate was signed by Richard Nixon.

I once avoided serving detention by bringing down a large helium balloon from the ceiling of my high-school gymnasium with an improvised blowgun.

I’ve been a resident of six different states over the years.

I’ve planted my feet on the ground in 47 US states and DC, as well as six Canadian provinces, two Mexican states, one British territory and two countries in Europe. I’ve ridden a motorcycle in 26 states (I think), DC, two provinces and Bermuda.

I once rode my motorcycle 1,106 miles in 24 hours, just to say I’d done a thousand miles in one day.

I’ve never ridden a motorcycle off-road. Not intentionally, anyway.

I drove for the first time before I got my learner’s permit (aka “my temps”). The car was a ’72 Corvette (just like the one in today’s header image) belonging to a local farmer.

I went through a phase when I felt the occasional “need for speed.” The fastest I’ve driven a car is 135mph on US Route 33, both in a ’96 Saab 900 SE and in a ’00 Corvette. The fastest I’ve ridden a motorcycle, a ’97 BMW R1100RT, is 116mph. (That’s what the speedometer read the last time I looked at it, anyway.) I was doing ride-marshal duty on the LIE and trying to keep up with my police escort.

I’m afraid of heights.

I don’t like amusement parks.

I don’t eat fish, shellfish, crustaceans or any other seafood.

I once marched in a protest on the steps of the United States Capitol. Something about a nuclear arms moratorium. Don’t judge.

I’ve done two marathons and three triathlons, crossing the finish line first each time — carrying race officials and videographers on the passenger seat of my motorcycle.

I believe that children are the most precious and valuable members of our society, but I don’t like the sounds, smells and unreasonable demands made by children.

I don’t do a podcast. I don’t even listen to podcasts. People have asked me why — I don’t have the patience. Or the attention span. Or something.

I do enjoy Hickok45. Maybe that’s because he doesn’t call what he does a “podcast.”

I remember the last time I voted for a Democrat — Ted Strickland for governor of Ohio, over John Kasich in 2010. That’s because the Democrat opposed gun control and the Republican had a long record of supporting it.

I wouldn’t vote for DeWine again even if I still lived in Ohio. Hell, the Democrats could put up Obama against him and I’d leave that race blank.

I once voted for George McGovern. Don’t judge.

I prefer bourbon.

Take care of yourselves, Patriots. Stay calm. Stay sharp. Stay free.

#WiseUp #LibertyOrDeath

#LetsGoBrandon #FJB


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